Today’s column is free to all because I consider suggesting you don’t drink your own wee to be THAT important. If you agree, perhaps you can become a subscriber?
First it was inject bleach. I still remember that moment in the Trump press conference. You could almost see the light bulb in his head click on as he said it. A voice in his head whispered...."I have the best bleach.....nobody knows bleach more than me"...And then he turned to that lady who always wore the nice scarves, to get her approval, and she suddenly looked stricken, like she'd been overcome with a tsunami of nausea and was about to chuck in her lap. She could only manage a weak smile, and in that one moment, all her years of medical school, and all her years of public service, burned to the ground. The man had quite an effect on people. That I can tell you.
To show how advanced we've become as a nation of amateur virologists, we've moved past that, and now we should drink our own urine, which admittedly, is cheaper. And easier to find. It's called "urine therapy", and an anti-vaxx group admits that it "sounds crazy" but their leader insists "tons of research" has been done and it's our way out of all this. "God has given us everything we need", he said. Apparently this doesn't mean that God has given us science and vaccines, which he calls "the worst bioweapon I've ever seen" (gee....wait'll he discovers Anthrax). I assume he means we have everything we need on our own person. Including our wee.
American ingenuity at work here.
Not to be gross about it or anything, but aren't we getting dangerously close to eating our own shit? It seems that might be America's "jump the shark" moment....when even Scientists and Doctors throw up their hands and say "fuck this".
But back to the matter at hand.
His name is Christopher Key, the founder of a website called "Vaccine Police", which looks pretty much like you'd expect a website called "Vaccine Police" to look. If Joey Buttafuoco and Amy Fisher ever had a child, he’d probably look like this guy. Key was recently re-arrested for refusing to wear a mask and filming inside a court hearing, after having previously been arrested for....wait for it...refusing to wear a mask in a Whole Foods Store. Without getting too deep into things, he's your run-of-the-mill loon....the kind of guy who live-streams himself at various Wal-Mart pharmacies telling pharmacists they could be "hung and executed" (seems redundant, but whatever) for violating "the Nuremburg Code". He's quick to point out "I do this out of love, not intimidation", so we've got that going for us, which is nice. One of the first things I noticed about him is that he doesn't have polio, which gave me pause. But like I said, I don't want my brain to spend too many resources on this.
Here's the thing about choosing Wal-Mart though. Anybody who works there deals with whackadoodles constantly. A non-stop barrage of stupidity hits them in the face from the moment they clock in. So even a guy sticking a phone in their face and comparing them to Dr. Mengele doesn't get much of a reaction. All the pharmacists and techs just sort of look weary and resigned, and simply politely smile and wait the guy out. Eventually he leaves, because once you play the Nuremburg card and are met with indifference, you've kinda shot your wad. Maybe aim lower and build the next time?
Drinking piss is just the latest. It used to be ivermectin, a drug largely used to treat animals. Before that it was hydroxychloroquine, touted by the same guy who suggested injecting bleach, which is even better than being peer reviewed if you are a Republican. It was being snapped up so fast by Trump acolytes that lupus patients, who need it to survive, couldn't get what they needed anymore. Recently Tucker Carlson, avowed vaccine skeptic who covers his ass by being vaccinated anyway, devoted a portion of his show to promoting Viagra as a cure. He quipped, "Is there anything it doesn't cure?" Well. Stupidity?
At this point Covid is probably here to stay. Like the flu....but more deadly if you're the type that hangs on the words of Tucker Carlson. If you don't get vaccinated, you might die. It is what it is. Darwin wasn't the most tactful dude in the world, but he's been proven brutally correct. Time and time again.
Stay safe out there. Mind your wee.
In a bit..