"The man doesn’t just have thin skin, he sometimes appears to have no skin at all....."

“And I want to just thank everybody and in particular,
God. I want to just say we love you, God.”

—The President of the United States

Unlike most of my current social media “friends”, I am not claiming to be an expert in Middle Eastern affairs. I have not “done my own research” and decided A, B, or C. I have not based my conclusions on the biblical prophesies or my belief in Noah’s ark or the book of revelation. Or Fox and Friends or the View, for that matter. I’ve never been to Israel or Iran. I’m sure both places are filled with an overwhelming majority of good people….folks who just want to do their thing and be left alone. But there are also enough zealots in each country to fill multiple soccer stadiums. That’s the kind of shit you get when you believe in Noah’s ark, or that nubile horny virgins await you after you detonate the bomb strapped to your chest. Both places have been poisoned with religion. You would not want Ali Hosseini Khamenei or Benjamin Netanyahu moving into your neighborhood. I think that’s what I’m trying to say. Either would start causing problems almost immediately with the HOA.