The Chief Twit
I created a Twitter account a few years ago but I never got around to figuring out how to use it. I didn't know how to go about getting followers without abject begging, and right now I only have 29 of them, most of whom are local friends and the odd crypto loser. My most famous follower is the wife of E Street Band and Neil Young guitarist Nils Lofgren (she’s great by the way), and I remember probably being way more excited than I should have been when I found this out. Without a vast number of followers, tweeting is like farting into the wind. My twitter game grew so sad that I stopped tweeting entirely, and now just check in periodically to see who is currently being racist.