Kiera Rose

Most of these columns are for you.

This one, however, is for me.

But you can still come along because it’s no fun bragging if nobody is around to hear it.

My youngest, Kiera, graduated from Widener University Commonwealth Law School yesterday. She was hooded onstage by her big sister.

Alyssa Flannery Esq., is a 2023 graduate of the same school.

Kiera was the class valedictorian, along with being the Editor-in-Chief of the Law Review. And yes, that is as hard, and as rare, as it sounds. Initially I was skeptical of her taking on the prestigious EIC position, not because I didn’t think she earned it, but because I figured she’d wear herself down to the nub carrying it out.

Turns out she just set her alarm clock a little earlier.

I can assure you that the qualities required to reach these levels of achievement I do not possess. I am not a purveyor of the alarm clock. I was a middling student at best. My only goal when enrolling at a school was finding out where the exit was. I had no patience. No real drive. I could be thrown off the academic scent by the pop of a beer tab, a new REM record, or a new set of guitar strings. But I married well. My wife is the brains of this outfit, and I’m the assorted spare parts.

But the world NEEDS spart parts.

The part that knows the material but fails the test on purpose. The stubborn part. The part that dives into rabbit holes and doesn’t come out for weeks. The part that is buried in books and historical documentaries and music. The part that notices every wrong and wants to fix it, often in the most naive ways possible. The one who rages against the machine. The one who thinks all lawyers should be Clarence Darrow and Atticus Finch, with Ruth Bader Ginsberg’s DNA sprinkled over their heads. In other words, I am HOPELESSLY impracticable and did almost nothing to help Kiera…except trust her implicitly. The only piece of advice I gave her for 3 years was “stay focused”. She did. She will always be, as I love to point out, the adult in the room. This includes when I’m there too.

She was born with a spark. Her intensity terrified baby-sitters, who frequently only lasted once gig. She wanted what she wanted. And she wanted it now.

Whatever she did, she wanted to be the best. But it had to be on her terms. If she even sensed a hand on her back, pushing her forward, she’d buck. After gently suggesting she take up the piano, she became so good so fast that her teacher intimated we might have a prodigy on our hands. But we noticed that she almost never practiced. She didn’t have a passion for it. And the more we pushed, the less interested she became. It was frustrating for me, because I kept thinking I’d soon have a built-in band member that I wouldn’t have to pay. But alas, I’d need to find a keyboard player somewhere else. She would go her own way.

Kiera didn’t need to be pushed. Once she had her sights set on a goal, I just assumed everybody else was fighting for second place. During her sister’s 2023 Law School commencement, after the class valedictorian spoke, my wife turned to Kiera and said “that’s going to be you”.

And Kiera just smiled. But she was thinking it too.

But never….not once….ever…..did she mistreat another person in pursuit of her own goals. I am even MORE proud of her for this than I am of her reaching the goals themselves.

Let me tell you little bits and pieces about law school. I feel competent to opine after two separate sprints.

It is an all-consuming SIEGE. From the first day to the last the pressure never relents. There are no real days off. Even on so-called “vacation” weekends Kiera would drag those ridiculously heavy law school books along with her. Like most law schools, Widener Law Commonwealth offers no student housing. So, as Kiera’s favorite songwriter said, “you’re on your own, kid”.

Law students are broke, perpetually exhausted, and forever terrified that one day the train is going to leave the station without them. It can change you. It can flip a temperament on its head.

And after you graduate? You must still face the DEATH STAR.

The bar exam.

The bar exam does not give a shit about your fancy Ivy League credentials. The bar exam spits out people like JFK Jr. and Michelle Obama and Franklin D Roosevelt, all of whom failed it on the first attempt. The FORMER DEAN of Stanford Law failed the bar exam, which is a bit like the head of the IRS failing an audit.

The bar exam is diabolical. And you have to PAY to take it.

My Alyssa passed the bar on her first attempt, with a score in the 90th percentile, and there is no way Kiera is going to let this Flannery family milestone stand alone. Before she actually graduated, Kiera was already more than 50 hours into bar-prep, and woke up the next morning to her books. Not even an exhale. She will not relent now. If anything, she will push even harder.

Law school graduation is making it to Mount Everest base camp. Passing the bar is reaching the summit.

Somehow Kiera entered law school with grace and compassion, and despite all the pressure, she never lost that. She was beloved by her professors and her classmates. As I watched her navigate her way through classes, exams, back and forth travel, various intern and externships, AND the essentially full time position of Editor-in-Chief of the Law Review, and do all of it with a smile, I’d often just sit back with that smug “that’s MY KID” look on my face. But I never quite got over the feeling that I’ve somehow won the lottery. Because HOW IS THIS MY KID?

I’m almost 60 years old. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve fucked up. My regrets have regrets. But my wife and my girls are a constant reminder that I must have slipped a few good things in the mix. Maybe when I wasn’t paying attention.

So as I sat there listening to Kiera’s speech as valedictorian, and she said of her parents that “my proudest achievement will always be….being yours” I was reminded of why she give me orders NOT to record it. “You’ll cry” she said.

And I did and I don’t think I’ve ever had a happier cry in my life.

One final bit. There was a woman behind us at the graduation. As the Dean was introducing Kiera, and listing all her accomplishments, I could hear this woman say “this girl is a BOSS”.

M’aam, she is indeed.

In a bit…

—tf