It's the most wonderful time of the year....
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I actually take these 2 days off from work. Always have. Since I started working. Put the request in weeks in advance so there's no mix-up. The "do not disturb" note is slapped on my work email. You know the one that says "don't even f-ng try calling me on my day off", but in good corporate-speak. "I will be out of the office and have no access to email or phone. If you need assistance please contact <insert unwarned sucker's name here>..."
I circle these dates on my calendar and wait on them like a visit from a long lost friend. The last 2 years were diluted with Covid. But now it’s back.
I maneuver the basement TV into my office so it's next to my 2 lap tops, so I can watch multiple things at once, like I'm some sort of crazed day-trader watching everybody else make and lose fortunes. It’s like I’m consciously walling myself in.
It's the most wonderful time of the year. March. Let the Madness begin. I'm a longtime college basketball junkie, and these 2 days especially, the opening round of the NCAA tournament, is my dreamscape. Each day features 12+ continuous hours of overlapping games on 4 different channels, all with start times perfectly staggered to ensure one wild ending after another. Sixteen games a day. My bracket is all filled out.....the snacks and diet coke are at the ready......I sprawl onto the couch like a junkie, and only move during the TV time-outs, to pee or for extra sustenance. My family is used to this. They leave me be. They know where to find me, if nuclear war breaks out for instance. Or one of the kids needs money for gas.
Within hours my bracket was decimated, of course. I had Iowa making it to the Final Four, because of course I did. They were beaten by Richmond, a team that wouldn't have made the tournament at all if they hadn't unexpectedly won their conference tourney last week. These types of things happen every year, and trying to pick them in advance is impossible. And just in case anybody thought Iowa was a one-off, mighty Kentucky, a 2 seed and only the winningest program in NCAA history, was beaten by a school that only its students had ever heard of. Saint Peter's. I asked everybody I knew who they were. Nobody had any idea. Turns out they are a small Jesuit school from Jersey City, New Jersey. Less than 3000 students. They lost 11 games this year, including a double-digit loss to the then 1-7 Saint Francis Brooklyn Terriers (I had to look them up too). The only way you picked this team in your bracket is if your thumb slipped.
Kentucky has an almost corporate swagger. "How many shall we beat you by today?" is in the air as they gather for tip-offs. Seventeen final fours. Eight national championships. Their coach is the imperious, haughty type who doesn't really give a shit that most consider him an asshole. He’s the highest paid public employee in the state….making nearly $10 million a year. His salary is higher than the entire athletic budget of Saint Peter’s.
Kentucky have been so good for so long that only Duke is more universally loathed. Year in and year out they get the best recruits, and rarely do their best players even come close to graduation. They are gone after a year or two, off to the NBA and riches. If you are good enough to play basketball for Kentucky, you are good enough to make basketball your living.
If you’re good enough to play for Saint Peter’s, it means you’ve been dominating the intramural league.
“Don't you ever get nervous?", a outwardly serene Saint Peter’s coach Shaheen Holloway was asked in the moment. "What for?" he replied. "It's basketball".
They had absolutely nothing to lose.
And they played like it. Kentucky had EVERYTHING to lose, and they played like it. A slow white kid with a 70s porn mustache from Saint Peter's named Doug Edert came off the bench and stuck two 3-point daggers in Kentucky's heart late in the game, and while Kentucky was bricking their own free throws to the tune of 1 out of 6, he was making all 8 of his. This guy did more damage to Kentucky psyches last night than Mitch McConnell has done in 37 years. Lexington parents will forever tell their misbehaving kids “be good or Doug Edert will come get you…”
It's games like this....teams like this.....unlikely heroes like this.....that make the tournament the greatest spectacle in sports. It's 16 Super Bowl's a day....a World Series with 68 teams. It’s why I’m currently ensconced in my basement on the most beautiful spring day of the year.
The tourney puts a Saint Peter's on the same level as a Kentucky.....come what may. Roll the ball out there. The basket is 10 feet high for both teams. There is nothing to fear but fear itself.
Only one team was fearless last night.
It will probably be their ONLY chance to destroy every bracket in America.
Except their own. Theirs were the only thumbs that didn’t slip.
In a bit..
—tf