"It's not big, it's large..."

The problem with being a writer is that when you are not writing you feel like a lazy sod.

Mostly you are not writing because you can't think of anything interesting to write about, but that doesn't matter. Blank pages make you feel like shit. If I may steal Denzel's line....blank pages are "when the devil comes for you".

Now, that may sound preposterously pretentious, but writers roll around in preposterously pretentiousness all day long. You cannot shame us this way. Many have tried.

The fact that I have started this column this way tells you all you need to know about my current state of mind. The blank pages have put the zap on my head. I am damaged goods today. I'm liable to say ANYTHING.