"I wondered if the MAGAs in my hood would finally replace their Trump flags with ones of George III....."

Another 4th of July has come and gone. This was surely the most ironic one yet, as those of us who understand the origins of the holiday were forced to contend with, you know, the rest of you. The Supreme Court, much like my idiot neighbors in the next block, decided to blow up shit, and this year it wasn’t only the dogs that were freaked out. I wondered if the MAGAs in my hood would finally replace their Trump flags with ones of George III.

We live in savage times, Bubba.

Per usual, between about 9:30 and 10:30 it sounded like a war zone up here. Somehow, the Biden economy had not prevented Cornfed Fred from stockpiling what had to be a pricey arsenal, and at times it seemed like my house was on the German front line during the battle of the Somme.

To minimize the decibelic carnage we had the TV set on full blast as we plowed through season 3 of “The Bear” (best show on television), and by 11pm the barrage had died down to where I dared let the dogs out for their bedtime pee. So there I stood in my own backyard, sniffing napalm, contemplating the fact that my President, in an “official act”, could order Seal Team 6 to Bin Laden-ize my idiot neighbor, and it would all be perfectly legal. With this thought in my head, I went to bed and slept like a baby.

*****

An interesting group, this Supreme Court. It’s not a bad gig. Once you’re in, you’re there until you die. It pays decent and comes with loads of grifty perks. And while you had to repeatedly say “Senator, Roe v Wade is the law of the land” over and over again in between denying that you used to be all rapey, once confirmed you can tell everyone to fuck off and do whatever you want. But that rarely happens. Seems boring.

The court has nearly always been divided between liberals and conservatives, but never this TYPE of conservative…..the kind that hang American flags upside down in their front yard, or marry insurrectionists. The current 6-3 majority seems content to roll back every progressive legal statute they can get their Trump-loving hands on. Whatever you never thought they’d actually come for, they are coming for. Your naiveite was adorable while it lasted.

The fact that a United States President is now above the law should have been enough to cancel the 4th of July. Yesterday felt a bit like continuing to celebrate Juneteenth after making slavery legal again. I know that sounds jarring but not as jarring as Donald Trump becoming President again, with all the legal guardrails removed. He’ll be limited by nothing other than the extent of his own grievances. He’s already endorsed the idea that Liz Cheney, one of his critics, should be tried for treason in a televised show trial, which is the sort of thing Stalin did. Stalin, you may recall, had his own Supreme Court, too. Initially he didn’t like its make-up, so he “purged” them all, and installed a new court more to his liking.

To all who continue to insist “that can’t happen here”, well, IT IS HAPPENING HERE.

As Casey Stengel once said, “you can look it up”.

*****

Casey Stengel was eventually pushed aside for being too old to manage the Yankees, and said “I’ll never make the mistake of being 70 again”, which is probably the sort of thing Joe Biden is contemplating right now. The one thing in common with everybody who is shitting on Biden right now is that none of them are 81 years old.

And so it goes.

Vice President Kamala Harris is now being considered for the top slot, ironic since the administration largely exiled her to Siberia over the last 4 years. Nobody really knows that much about her. The office of the Vice Presidency was once deemed “not worth a pitcher of warm spit”. You’re on the ticket as a sop to siphon a few votes here and there, and then you’re expected to fuck off and show up at shopping mall openings for the next 4 years. Hell, Mike Pence, a bootlicker out of central casting, was almost lynched on national TV by his boss’s supporters for not being obsequious enough. Not a good look for future occupants of that office. As so many Presidents have proven to be both cripplingly insecure and comically narcissistic, a Vice President must seem like a hovering vulture. Until of course, like Harry Truman, they are forced to run through White House corridors when summoned, and have to stop and ask directions.

Kamala Harris is a strong black woman. That’s 0-2 in the MAGAverse. Proof that Trump is taking her seriously is that he’s given her one of his juvenile nicknames. She is now “Laffin” Kamala Harris, as apparently Truth Social doesn’t have a built-in spell checker. Will she make a good President? I have no idea. But she’ll certainly make a better one than the alternatives.

And just so you’re aware…..to suggest that Biden is cognitively impaired without forcing Donald Trump to have his orange head wired in a medically supervised vice is why mainstream political journalism is as dead and buried as Ivana on the first fairway at Bedminster.

We are so doomed.

In a bit…

—tf