Dark and dreary today. Rain and wind and whatever else that can dampen your mood and have you clutching the covers to keep them over your head. Ex-presidents having dinner with Nazis and such, which would normally be a bad look but the world has changed. Having dinner with Nazis is now accepted practice in some circles, including the circle where Republican presidential candidates who used to be President but lost re-election by 7 million votes roam. Republicans leaders are of course being asked for their thoughts on having dinner with Nazis, and most of them, the ones who the microphones can catch anyway, are stammering like drunken donkeys trying either to justify it or to pretend that it didn't really happen. They are surely making mental notes to themselves....."when Kanye shows up, run the other way..." because when Kanye is around, he is sure to have some Nazis in tow, because nobody else wants to hang out with him. Not even the Kardashians. And their bar is fucking low, dude. Think about that for a minute. The Kardashians, one of the most shameless star-fucker families in the world, is actively avoiding one of the world’s most famous men. Even they won’t have dinner with Nazis.
It is rare to see a mental breakdown in real time, but Kanye West is exhibit A. I'm not even sure that's his name anymore. He may have shortened it so that it could fit on a sneaker. Since that day he dive-bombed Taylor Swift at the Video Music Awards he's famous simply for being famous, and is positively addicted to the fact that if you or I had dive-bombed Taylor Swift at the VMAs we would have had our larynx crushed by security guards. He does it and his net worth goes through the roof, which started his ascent towards becoming a billionaire with a "B", which he no longer is because he turned into a Nazi.
But I digress. Back to republican leaders getting questioned about their unquestioned leader having dinner with Nazis.
If they say "having dinner with Nazis is a very bad thing and should be avoided at all cost, especially if you are running for President", then Donald Trump will get mad at them and call them childish names, which will greatly affect their ability to get re-elected, because Donald Trump fans are not just fucking dumb as rocks, but also quite numerous, which is the important thing here. Donald Trump fans also do not object to him having dinner with Nazis. Donald Trump fans do not object to anything Donald Trump does because not only are they dumb as the aforementioned rocks, but they too would welcome a Nazi at the dinner table, because this pisses off liberals.
If you are a Donald Trump fan who objects to me saying that you do not object to him having dinner with Nazis, ask yourself if Donald Trump having dinner with Nazis has caused you to cease being a Donald Trump fan. If it has not, then you clearly do not object to him having dinner with Nazis. It is also not a stretch to say that if you support Donald Trump after he had dinner with Nazis, then you too would be open to having your own dinner with your own Nazis, or perhaps with the same Nazis Donald Trump had dinner with. I don't know if you have your own Nazis. I don't want to presume. But chances are Donald Trump's Nazis wouldn't give you the time of fucking day because you're a nobody. So if you wanted to have a solidarity dinner with Nazis to show your support of Donald Trump (and Nazis), you might have to find your own Nazis. Which is a lot easier today than it was say…..oh….6 years ago?
One thing I should have made clear up front is that while the republican leadership and Trump supporters are ok with him having dinner with Nazis, they would not be ok with Joe Biden having dinner with Nazis. If Joe Biden had dinner with Nazis they would be CRAZED because of course having dinner with Nazis is sick and twisted and only liberals would do such a thing because they hate Israel.
At this dinner, Kanye West asked Donald Trump to be his running mate, and also informed him that Superman was his favorite superhero. No word on who Trump's favorite superhero is, but for the record he turned down the generous offer to be Vice President. The Nazi with Kanye West (his name escapes me and I can’t be arsed to google it. Plus I do not want my google search history to include nazis) just last week suggested that the military be sent into black neighborhoods to "do what needs to be done", because "they're never gonna vote for us". Except for Kanye, of course.
I really wish this dinner itself was live-streamed. The conversation sounds epic.
To be fair to Donald Trump, it's possible that his goal was to only have dinner with one Nazi, and was not aware that he would be bringing along a friend who was also a Nazi, which makes two Nazis at dinner, surely a bigger story than one Nazi.
But that’s the way these things go.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
In a bit...
--tf
That paragraph about having dinner with your own nazi is one of your best.
Omg! I SO look forward to your columns!! They are the best!! So are YOU!! Happy that I subscribed! ( long overdue!)