I’ve done a lot of dumb things in my life, but I’ve never filled garbage bags with gasoline and stored them in the trunk of my car.

I’m not sure what I can attribute this to. Good parenting maybe? Being literate? Never being dropped on my head as a child? An aversion to Fox News?

Knowing not to turn your car into a mobile Molotov Cocktail?

Check.

(But I get…