All it took was one word....

All it took was one word.

Nothing seemed to work. Nothing seemed to stick. The dystopian hellscape approach wasn’t cutting it. Herd immunity had been reached. Fascists. Racists. Misogynists. Homophobes. Transphobes. Convicted felons. Cat lady haters. Couch fuckers. It was all like sitting in the front row of a Gallagher comedy show, knowing you had enough cellophane wrap to keep the splattered watermelon from messing up your clothes. Pointing out how shitty they are only seems to rejuvenate them. They wear their shittiness like a badge of honor. Their shittiness brought them together, and not only are they going to remain on the low road, but they are gonna stay on that road even if they had to drive one of their boy Elon’s electric cars while doing so.

And then Tim Walz said it. A phrase that literally catapulted him to the Vice Presidency.

“These are weird dudes”.

Right then, it was over. This was the “have you no sense of decency sir, at long last?” moment of the McCarthy hearings that ended McCarthy’s drunken career.

This race is over.

They had no response. All they could do was double-down on being weird. Last night Trump posted an absolutely insane rant suggesting that Joe Biden was going to crash the Democratic convention and demand another debate, and even some of my most vocal MAGA friends went into temporary exile, at an absolute loss at how to spin this as anything other than a mental breakdown happening in real time. They recovered of course, spurred on by a brand new Trump fundraising pitch that said new VP candidate Tim Walz was about to “unleash hell on earth” and “wipe MAGA out”, which sounded a bit shrill when coupled with pics of the somewhat lumpy midwestern Dad posing for cute pics with his dog….or surrounded by smiling children after signing a bill guaranteeing them free lunches in their schools. But you work with the tools you have I guess. Walz put the cherry on the sundae by saying he was really looking forward to debating J. D. Vance “if (Vance is) willing to get off the couch”, the sort of zinger I didn’t think Democrats had in them anymore.

A little earlier Vance had sent his wife back to Fox news to mansplain by proxy that he didn’t mean to insult people who were actively trying but thus far unsuccessful in having children, but merely meant to insult that monstrous gaggle of woke sociopaths who choose not to. The response to this, for the most part, was “wow, she’s pretty weird too”.

The troops did try to gather, however. MAGA die-hards posted a series of “we’re not weird” pics that were frightfully devoid of irony, one featuring a selfie from a guy in his car with a Trump blow-up sex doll in the passenger’s seat, another with a guy who mock crucified himself on a corner telephone pole while dressed in a Trump tee. A post of Marjorie Taylor Greene massaging the balls of a life-size Trump cardboard cut-out made the rounds as well, along with past greatest hits like Tucker Carlson losing his shit over female M&Ms, and pics of Trump advisor Stephen Miller posing for a oddly lit pic that looked like a still from Triumph of the Will.

Weird.

Billboards started popping up all over. Showing Trump's droopy eyes above a single word.

“WEIRD.”

In response to this they have, nothing. He hasn’t even come up with a halfway decent childish nickname for Harris yet. Dude is clearly slipping.

If there is going to be debates, debate prep for Harris and Walz should consist of one thing and one thing only.

Ridicule.

Laugh at them. Use that Kamala cackle too. It’ll dig deeper.

The issues are boiled down to one.

You’re too fucking creepy and weird be allowed anywhere near the White House.

We’ve taken these fucking clowns seriously long enough. How do you debate actual policy with a guy who thinks “the late great” Hannibal Lector is a real person? A guy who thinks Frederick Douglass is still alive. A guy who thinks General George Washington took over airports during the revolutionary war. A guy who stared dead straight into an eclipse. A guy who tweeted that he met with “the Prince of Whales”. A guy who claimed to have met with the “President of the Virgin Islands”. A guy who said he was going to build a border wall in Colorado. How do you deal with somebody who speaks at the level of a 4th grade child? It’s impossible. The mistake is thinking that somehow rules still apply. They no longer do. What’s left is in your face belly-laughs…..the equivalent of movie-goers throwing popcorn and jujubes at the screen.

When he says something fucking stupid, laugh in his face. Spittle would be a bonus. Preface every single one of your answers with, “wow, you’re just weird”.

Do that, and before we even get to November the guy’s gonna end up in a straightjacket. And the Skipper is gonna take MAGA Gilligan down with him.

In a bit…

—tf