"Accepting a $400 million dollar porno-palace-plane from the home of the 9/11 hijackers was something I did not have on my Trump bingo card..."
Accepting a $400 million dollar porno-palace-plane from the home of the 9/11 hijackers was something I did not have on my Trump bingo card. A modern day trojan horse with all the solid gold fixings! On top of that, pledging what’s being called the “largest defense sales agreement in history"….$142 billion dollars to equip Saudi Arabia with "state-of-the-art warfighting equipment and services" from more than a dozen U.S. companies, is probably not something the 9/11 families were consulted on in advance. It’s all so brazen that, momentarily at least, even Republicans seemed shocked. Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, when pressed, eventually stammered that such a thing was “not in my lane”, once again eating the shit the President left for him on the floor. Johnson is a medical marvel. He can walk without a spine.
And so here we are. In the midst of all this…and the internal ongoing constitutional carnage, CNN is breathlessly reporting that…(checks my notes….) Biden is still old and slowing down, and, presumably, the network is still searching for Kamala Harris’s employment records from McDonalds. The media in this country have lost their collective minds. As somebody whose father was an old-school newspaper man, all I can say is that I am glad he is not here to see this. The slow pivot from Woodward and Bernstein to news organizations getting tongue tied when the President is asked “Are you required to follow the Constitution?” and replies “I don’t know” would have driven him insane.
(Just as an aside, I am trying to think of how my father, an intellectually elegant man, would react to the Department of Health and Human Services Director swimming in raw sewage with his grandchildren, and later telling a Congressional committee that “people should not take medical advice from me”. I’m having a hard time.)
On Trump’s current tour Arab monarchies are currently laying the pomp on so thick that at times they are actually caught smirking and rolling their eyes at one another, as if they cannot believe an actual ruler of a great nation could be so cravenly vain. Lavender carpets. Honor guards. Fighter jet fly-overs. Arabian horses escorted Trump’s limo. US flags were attached to camels. This prompted a memorable retort from the President.
"We appreciate those camels," Trump said.
(The last time I can remember a President being so quotable was when Richard Nixon described the Great Wall of China to a rapt press corps by saying “it is indeed a great wall”.)
That these are the same people who had Washington Post reporter Jamal Khashoggi tortured to death was overlooked. These are places where human rights go to die. These are Kleptocracies ruled by men who make Vladimir Putin look like a day laborer. These are places that give Donald Trump a large chubby. He wants the same type of power these men wield. Deep down he knows that no matter how many pairs of China-made sneakers and watches he sells to the goobers, he’s still the creepy rapey felon guy who managed to bankrupt multiple casinos and thus won’t release his tax returns. To be placed on their dictatorial level, even for a single news cycle, is what owning the libs is all about. It’s the ultimate revenge fantasy for a two-bit grifter. If they ply him with enough virgins he may never want to come home.
As for his upcoming birthday parade? Expect camels.
Outside of the glitz and the palace marble, which Trump called “perfecto marble”, he appeared less engaged, at one point falling asleep in his chair in full view of the world’s press, something the White House called “fake news” when it was reported by…well…..everybody. It’s hard to not notice the President of the United States sitting with the Saudi Arabian Royal Court and drooling on himself. Not a good look for somebody who coined the name “Sleepy Joe”.
Kissing Trump’s ass might trigger smirks and eye-rolls, but whatever you lose in self-respect you are compensated for in booty. The world has rarely seen somebody so susceptible to almost infantile flattery. Basking in his own orange glow, Trump praised Saudi Arabia’s Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman as “an incredible man, a great guy” and said “I like him a lot. I like him too much!” as the Prince alternately beamed and squirmed, looking a bit like Dr. Deborah Birx after Trump suggested injecting bleach to cure Covid-19. Trump went on. “We are rockin’, the United States is the hottest country—with the exception of your country, I have to say, right?” It all seemed really really gay, especially in a nation where being gay is punishable by death.
Prince Mohammed bin Salman is a lot of things. Not gay, presumably. A murderous thug also chief among them. But he is not stupid. Authoritarian leaders the world over can now be legitimized in the eyes of the US by saying something nice about Trump’s fucking tie….or suggesting a new location for one of his garish golf resorts. There is no deep analysis required here. It’s all out in the open….as unmissable as the man falling asleep in his fucking chair.
In a bit…
—tf